Take Me
by ProngsPotter1981
Summary: WARNING: Strong Sexual Scene.  Lily and the Marauders' lives are about to change forever; they have one final night of freedom before they become official members of the Order. To complicate things, Lily is still trying to sort out her feelings for James.


'If you change your mind, we can alter your memories to make it like this never happened,' Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody told the five recently graduated Gryffindors. 'No one will think any less of you.' His magical eye whizzed around in its socket.

Lily Evans met his gaze confidently. She wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix and fully understood the implications. James Potter and Sirius Black glanced at each other and grinned.

'Think we're soft, Moody?' James said brightly, ruffling his raven hair.

'Because we're not,' Sirius added, a strange mix of determination and amusement dancing in his grey eyes. 'Are we, Moony?'

Remus Lupin's weary face split into a smile. 'Of course not, Padfoot,' he replied. 'Wormtail?' Peter Pettigrew jumped at the sound of his name. His watery eyes passed over his three friends, Lily and then Moody before he shook his head. He smiled shyly at the ground.

'Excellent,' Moody barked. Lily sensed he was working hard to conceal a smile, because the corners of his mouth kept twitching. 'Dumbledore will be here in the morning to formally induct you. Enjoy your last night of freedom.' Five chairs scraped as they pushed away from the dining table. 'Evans, a word please?' Sirius and James looked back curiously as they ascended the stairs. 'Evans, I feel obliged to warn you what you're getting into here.'

'Mr Moody, I understand the risks involved,' Lily said earnestly.

'But you're not one of the boys,' Moody said pointedly. 'Voldemort and his Death Eaters have a tendency to underestimate women... that's why there are so few on their side.' Lily nodded. 'He thinks women are weak. That's an advantage, because you're a good little fighter and he won't see it coming. It's also a problem. You're likely to be a target, the one they'll try to take alive. In his mind, you're the one that will cave during torture.' Lily nodded slowly. Beneath her freckles, she was ghostly pale. She'd never stopped to consider this before. Moody hesitated, looking uncomfortable. 'You're also an attractive young women.' He winced. 'I wouldn't put it past Death Eaters to... use you for their own amusement.'

Lily paled even more. She had been with Moody the day Marlene McKinnon's body was found. Marlene, who was only a year older than Lily had been abused and raped before she was killed. 'Is-is that all?' Lily choked.

Moody nodded grimly. 'Thought you needed to know.'

'Thank you,' Lily said shakily. She stumbled from the little kitchen and up the stairs.

'Padfoot!' Moody barked from behind her. 'It's your turn to put the rubbish out!'

Sirius stomped past Lily in the hallway. 'He doesn't even understand _why _I'm called Padfoot,' he grumbled as he thumped down the stairs.

Lily smiled to herself as she continued down the hall. During the year, she had found out about Remus' lycanthropy. James, Sirius and Peter had come clean about their being Animagi.

'James?' Lily called, knocking on his wooden bedroom door. Of all the Marauders, he was the one she felt closest to.

'Come in.' he called back. His voice sounded like he was smiling. They'd grown closer during their year as Heads of Hogwarts together and while her feelings for James were strictly platonic, he liked her romantically. He hadn't asked her out in months, but Lily knew from Remus and Sirius that he still wanted more than their comfortable friendship. 'Are you all right?' James was sitting on his bed, holding a Quidditch magazine. He was only wearing a pair of Snitch patterned pyjama pants. She had to admit he was attractive. In a platonic way of course. Although she would never confess to it, she found his messy raven hair sexy. 'You look pale.'

'I'm fine,' Lily said absently, leaning against the doorframe. She wasn't really. All she could think of was Marlene's broken body and the things Moody had just told her. It made her feel tainted.

'Lils.' James' hazel eyes were concerned, peering at her from behind his glasses.

'Oh, all right,' she snapped. 'Moody told me some things I didn't really want to hear.' Several things actually.

James' eyes scanned her face. Whatever he saw there made him decide not to push the matter. But she needed to talk about it. 'James?'

'Mmm?' James glanced up from his magazine.

Lily walked into his tidy room and sat down on the end of her bed, hugging herself. 'I- Moody-he- ' Poor James looked thoroughly confused. 'Hetoldmetheymightrapeme,' Lily said in a rush.

James' eyes widened and his smile slipped off. Next thing Lily knew, he was hugging her. 'I won't let them,' he said fiercely. He stroked her long red hair. 'What was Moody thinking? He shouldn't tell you things like that!'

'But it's the truth,' Lily said quietly. 'I'm not made of glass, James. I need to know these things.'

'Are you still joining?'

'Of course! I just- I don't know.'

James grinned suddenly, when it became apparent she wasn't going to say anything. 'Hey, Lils?' She looked up suspiciously at the sudden change of tone. 'Can I ask you a favour?'

'Sure,' she said warily. 'What do you want?'

'Food,' James said simply, walking over to the door. He held it open for her. 'We both know Moody never goes shopping and thanks to Sirius there's _nothing_ in the cupboard-'

'What's your point, James?' Lily said impatiently. She hoped she didn't want her to take him food shopping. That had been disastrous last time; they had had to Obliviate seven muggles (including a police officer).

'Can you make me something? Cook, I mean.' He smiled a little-boy smile, looking up at Lily with hazel eyes that suddenly seemed so much bigger than before. 'Please?'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Come on,' she sighed. The two of them headed for the kitchen.

Sitting at the little table was a soaking wet Sirius. James waved his wand and the shaggy haired Marauder was dry. 'What happened to you?' James laughed, sitting down opposite him.

Sirius' eyes narrowed. 'Moody happened,' he said in an injured voice. 'The old codger has a hex on his rubbish bins! They attacked me!' James sniggered, and Lily disappeared into the cupboard so neither of them would see her smile. 'And then, he wouldn't let me in the house because I was covered week old food scraps and Merlin knows what else. I had to hose myself down in the backyard.'

'No wand?' Lily asked.

'No wand,' Sirius said petulantly. 'Before I went outside, he noticed my wand was in my back pocket. He yelled some rubbish about wizards losing buttocks and confiscated it for my own safety. Paranoid git.' Lily smiled to herself as she tipped a cup of flour into the bowl. 'Have your afternoons been better than mine?' Sirius asked hopefully.

'Lily seduced me,' James said casually.

'James!' Lily all but shouted, spinning around to glare at him. He winked at her. She sputtered in outrage.

'Uh-huh,' Sirius said, glancing between them. 'You know what I think happened, Prongs? I think Lily's been in her room all afternoon reading _Hogwarts; a History_ and you've been in your bathroom all afternoon, taking a long_-_'

'Finish that sentence and die,' James said, idly twirling his wand between his fingers. Sirius grinned and James grinned back. Lily turned back toward the bench, her face bright red. She distracted herself with her cooking; she cracked an egg and stirred it in. 'Hey, Lils, can I have the bowl?'

'Sure, James,' Lily sighed. She tapped the bowl with her wand and the dough levitated out, separating itself into twelve identical balls which dropped onto a tray. James summoned the bowl happily, passing Sirius the generously loaded wooden spoon. After putting the tray in the oven, Lily joined the other two at the table, occasionally stealing a bit of dough from James' bowl.

'Call me when they're done,' Sirius said, getting up. 'I need a real shower. I can still smell Moody's rubbish.'

'Poor Padfoot,' James cooed.

'Oh, shut up, Prongs!' Sirius laughed as he climbed up the stairs. As soon as he was gone Lily turned to James, crossing her arms over her chest.

'Are you upset?' James asked.

'Perceptive,' she snapped, glaring at him. 'Why did you say that?'

'That you seduced me?' James shrugged. 'A bit of fun. He didn't believe me, anyway.'

'That's not the point,' Lily insisted.

James grinned. 'All right. Next time, I'll tell him I seduced you.'

She knew he was teasing; James would never actually seduce her. He cared too much to take advantage of her. But it still shocked her to hear the words. 'Seduce me- you- what? James-'

'It's certainly plausible.' He leaned in to rub his nose along her jaw.

Lily drew in a shaky breath before pushing him away. 'James,' she said warningly. As friends, they had boundaries, and she liked to stick to those, even if he didn't.

He leaned away, putting his hands up. 'I'm just proving a point.' And a very good one, Lily thought absently. She shook her head and glared at him again. He gulped. 'I was just teasing!' he said hastily.

She got up under the pretence of checking the biscuits in the oven. She suddenly wished she hadn't charmed the sink to do the dishes; she needed a distraction.

Seconds later, it appeared in the form of Remus. The young werewolf sauntered in through the back door holding a brown paper bag.

'Did you go shopping?' Lily asked incredulously. 'You never go shopping!'

Remus grinned, turning to James and tossed him three sickles. James' eyes widened. 'How much did you buy?'

'Enough,' Remus said grinning. He pulled three large bottles filled with amber liquid from the bag and set them on the table with a loud clink. He turned to Lily. 'Tonight's entertainment brought to you by Mr Prongs, our generous sponsor.'

'Three bottles in one night?' Lily said incredulously, pulling the tray from the oven. James leapt from his chair to grab one of the steaming biscuits. 'You four will be so hung-over in the morning you won't be able to swear your oaths to Dumbledore!'

'Five. The five of us,' Remus corrected.

'Moody's joining you?'

'You are,' James said, rolling his eyes. Lily gave him a flat stare. 'It'll be fun.'

'And we won't be hung-over,' Remus added, pulling another bottle from the bag. He waved it in her face. 'Hangover Cure. Please, Lils. It'll be fun! We'll play games and stuff!'

'Moody won't be happy.'

'Moody won't know; he's off on Auror duty tonight and won't be home until nine tomorrow,' James wheedled. 'Besides, we're of age.'

'And you heard him this afternoon. He said to enjoy tonight,' Remus said with a smile.

'I don't think getting drunk is quite what he meant.'

'Please, Lily?' James begged. 'It's better than sitting in your room all night with a book.'

'I suppose,' she said with a small smile. James grinned, finishing the last bite of his fourth biscuit.

'Excellent,' Remus said walking to the base of the stairs. 'Padfoot!' he shouted. 'Wormtail!'

Two loud sets of footsteps could be heard a moment later. All of a sudden, the tiny kitchen was feeling crowded, with all four Marauders and Lily squeezed into it.

'You bought Ogden's!' Sirius cried, hugging Remus. His hair was wet from his shower and he was wearing a pair of pyjama pants that matched James'. 'I think I love you, Moony!' Remus shook him off, laughing, and helped himself to a biscuit. Peter was already on his third. 'And biscuits for dinner! This is the best day ever!' Sirius shouted.

Lily laughed. 'Says the man who spent the afternoon covered in the contents of Moody's rubbish bins.'

'It's better than whatever you were doing this afternoon. I'd take rubbish over _Hogwarts; a History _any day. He grabbed two of the bottles. 'Shall we, gentlemen? And, lady?' he added as an afterthought.

'Whose room?' Remus asked as they ascended the staircase.

'Lily's,' James and Sirius answered together.

'Why mine?' Lily griped.

'Because yours is big. And it will be tidy,' Sirius replied. 'You can't even see the carpet in my room.'

'James is neater than I am,' Lily protested.

'Yours is bigger.'

'Fine. My room,' Lily muttered. Hers was the last door at the end of the hall, between Remus' and Peter's. Inside was simple. She had a double bed in one corner – fitted with gold sheets and pillows – and a desk in the other with a large window resting above it.

Lily sat down on the end of her bed. Remus claimed the desk-chair and pulled it over so he was closer and Peter joined Sirius on the plush red rug on the floor. James hesitated for a moment, and then seated himself next to Lily, flashing a small smile that she returned.

Remus waved his wand and five shot glasses appeared. Grinning, he passed them around. Lily eyed hers with apprehension. 'What are we starting with, Padfoot?'

'A drink each,' Sirius answered, filling his glass with firewhiskey, 'to get the ideas flowing.'

Lily filled her glass when the bottle was offered and downed it quickly. She wrinkled her nose as the burning sensation sped down her throat. 'Ugh,' she said. She filled her glass with water and downed that just as quickly. James sniggered.

'Let's play Would you rather!' Peter said suddenly. It wasn't a drinking game, but it was fun anyway.

'Excellent idea, Mr Wormtail,' Sirius said, beaming. 'I'll start. Would you rather be in Hufflepuff, or Slytherin?'

'Hufflepuff,' Lily answered instantly.

'Hufflepuff,' Remus agreed.

'Slytherin,' Peter muttered.

James made a face. 'Definitely Hufflepuff. Cheers to Hufflepuff,' he said, swallowing his second glass of firewhiskey. The rest copied him. 'Would you rather have a Hippogriff or a Unicorn?' Everyone answered Hippogriff.

'Would you rather live to be old but be lonely, or die young, knowing you were loved?' Remus asked.

'Die young,' Lily, James and Sirius said.

Peter hesitated before mumbling, 'Old.'

Lily was halfway through deciding on a question to ask when Sirius interrupted her. 'This is boring!' he shouted. Lily jumped, flinching into James' side. 'Let's play I've Never!'

Remus grinned and waved his wand. 'The bottle will fill your glass automatically,' he informed them. 'So you can't lie.'

Sirius clapped his hands and waved James, Lily and Remus down onto the floor. Smiling, they obliged. 'I'll start,' Sirius said brightly.

'You always start,' Peter whined.

'Fine, Wormtail,' Sirius sighed, 'you can start this time.'

Peter beamed. He thought for a moment and then said, 'I can't think of anything.'

'I've never been an Animagus,' Remus said slyly. James and Sirius cheered and downed a glass. Peter grinned and tipped the contents of his glass down his throat.

'I've never snogged a girl,' Lily said, grinning. All four Marauders shrugged and threw back another shot.

'I've never failed a test,' James said, looking proud. Peter looked a little dejected as he sipped at his glass.

'I've never had sex,' Remus said. James and Sirius clinked their glasses together in a toast before downing them.

Peter smiled slyly at James. 'I've never been in love with Lily.'

James' glass shot toward him. He winked at Lily and slurped his firewhiskey down. She was still thinking clearly enough to be shocked; James _loved_ her, or had at some point? The charm Remus had placed on the bottle meant none of them could lie, so James had to be telling the truth. She hoped she remembered enough of this in the morning so she could ask either James or one of the other Marauders about it.

'I've never thought of another Marauder as sexy,' Sirius said. Lily blushed and swallowed her shot. 'Who?' Sirius shouted gleefully.

'Not part of the game, Sirius,' Remus slurred. While Sirius pouted, James caught Lily's eye and mouthed "Who?"

Lily, feeling emboldened by the alcohol in her system, eyed his bare chest and winked. She sighed internally. Maybe her feelings weren't so platonic. James grinned.

The other three Marauders had lost interest in games, and their glasses, and were taking turns sipping at the bottle. Lily made a face, as did James, as Peter's eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out.

Sirius frowned at his unconscious friend for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. 'Come on, Moony,' he said loudly, hauling Peter to his feet. 'I can't do this alone.' He stumbled over his own feet as he and Remus carried Peter to Lily's bedroom door. Sirius then dropped Peter on Remus so that he could wave drunkenly at Lily and James.

Thank you for your hospital, Lily,' he said gravely, taking another swig of firewhiskey.

'Do you mean hospitailty?' Lily asked, sipping at the glass of water she had just conjured.

'Tomato, tomato,' Sirius replied. James looked at Lily and they both laughed. 'Moony! It isn't nap-time!' Sirius cried, staring down at Remus with dismay. The poor Werewolf was on the ground, struggling to push Peter's weight off him. Sirius helped him up, and together, they carried Peter out and down the hall, presumably to his room.

When Lily and James finally managed to stop laughing, James turned to her and said, 'So you think I'm sexy?' Lily grinned, too intoxicated to feel embarrassed, but didn't answer. 'Liiiiily,' James said loudly. 'Do you?'

Lily laughed and climbed onto her bed. She buried her head in her pillows, pretending to ignore him. She knew it was extremely childish, but her dignity had been smothered by firewhiskey about an hour ago.

James crawled up after her and caught her around the waist, tickling her. 'Stop!' she gasped, trying to prise off his hands.

'Not until you answer me!' James said, laughing just as hard as she was.

'Fine!' Lily said, holding her hands up in surrender. James stopped immediately and watched her attentively. 'Yes, James, I think you're incredibly sexy.'

'Really?' he asked hopefully.

'Yep,' Lily said smiling up at him. It seemed alcohol had robbed her of the ability to use sarcasm, so she settled for telling the truth. 'Now I get to ask you something. Did you really used to love me?'

'Still do,' he said, grinning proudly. He flopped down onto the mattress so that he was lying next to her.

'Do I get to ask something else?' Lily shrugged and nodded. James though for a moment and then said, 'How do you think of me? Am I a friend, a brother, what?'

'You're not a brother,' Lily said with certainty. 'But otherwise, I don't know what you are. Best friend doesn't seem like a strong enough word to describe what we have.'

James grinned. 'You do realise you love me, right?'

Yesterday, she would have given him a flat no. Instead, she watched him with a slight frown that was directed at herself for not knowing where her true feelings lay. 'I don't think I do,' she said after a moment. 'Love you, that is,' she added. James watched her knowingly. Lily made a face. 'What does being in love feel like?'

'It's the best feeling in the world. Like every second with you is special.' Lily was a little uncomfortable that James wasn't speaking hypothetically, but he didn't notice. 'Like I could spend hours with you, and never get bored. Holding your hand would be just as intimate as a kiss-' He stopped abruptly. '-I can produce a Patronus just by looking at you, you know.'

'Really?' Lily asked, a little flattered.

'Yep. Want to see?' he asked, pulling his wand. He gave her a sideways look and then said, '_Expecto Patronum.' _Ahuge silvery stag leapt from his wand tip and cantered around the room. Lily smiled. 'What's your Patronus?' he said suddenly, once the stag had faded. 'I don't think I've ever seen it.'

Lily plucked his wand out of his hand. She focused on the day she got her Hogwarts letter and then said, 'It's a cat. _Expecto Patronum._' The creature that burst forward was much larger than her usual feline. She stared, so shocked she almost toppled off the bed.

'That's not a cat,' James said, laughing. He offered her his glasses. 'Here, you need these more than I do.'

Lily rolled her eyes but was unable to look away from the beautiful glowing doe in front of her. James pushed his glasses back onto his face and smiled at her, but didn't say anything.

Even in her alcohol addled state, Lily knew what complementary Patronuses meant. And she would have been willing to bet everything she owned that James did too.

'I told you that you were in love with me,' James said, confirming her suspicions.

'I'm-'

'You'd better not say "not",' he warned. 'There's proof prancing around in front of us.'

'All right,' Lily said slowly. She wove her fingers together and watched James' face. He looked like he was trying to hold back a smile long enough to be serious. 'What should I say then?'

'You could tell me you love me,' James suggested, grinning. Lily eyed him dubiously. 'Here, it's easy. I'll start: Lily, I love you... Your turn.'

'I love you, James,' Lily sighed, rolling her eyes again. Despite her expression, something about the words tasted _right_. 'I'm in love with James Potter,' she muttered to herself. And she was, she just hadn't realised it until that moment. A slow smile spread across her face. James' huge grin was still in place as he leaned forward and kissed her gently. Butterflies danced in her chest and a warm feeling spread through her.

'Go out with me,' he said after they broke apart.

Lily's head snapped up, her instinctual "no" on her lips but she caught herself in time and smiled. 'All right,' she whispered. 'But... James, is this the best idea?'

His smile, which had widened after her acceptance, withered. 'Why wouldn't it be?'

'Well, tomorrow, we'll both full members of the Order. We'll be fighting Death Eaters and recruiting members for the resistance... how are we going to find time to spend with each other? What if they target you because of me? Or me because of you?' James opened his mouth to say something, but Lily cut him off. 'And don't say they won't, because you can't promise that! What sort of a future could we possibly have together, if we're constantly looking over our shoulders for danger?'

'Do you never expect to date or marry or have a family?' James asked, looking surprised.

'Of course I do! Just- just after the war.'

'And what if we lose?' James said. 'What if this war doesn't end before we die of old age? Would you deny yourself a future? Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing nothing but fighting?'

'No, of course not. But, James,' her voice dropped until she could hardly hear it, 'I-I'm scared.'

'So am I,' he said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. 'And so are Sirius and Remus and Peter. Merlin, I'd be willing to bet Dumbledore's scared! But do you know what? We keep fighting anyway. And we keep living.' He leaned in. 'And do you know what else?' Lily shook her head. 'I think you're going to make it. You're a good fighter-'

Lily stopped listening after that. That was the second time today she had been told she was a good fighter.

'Lily?' James shook her gently. 'Lils?'

Lily blinked, banishing the image of Marlene's body from her mind. 'Sorry,' she muttered.

'You're pale,' James told her.

'I was thinking about what Moody told me this afternoon,' she mumbled, avoiding his gaze. Lily glanced up to see him scowling. 'James, what if it does happen? What if I end up like Marlene?' James hadn't actually seen the body, but he had been the first person Lily went to as soon as Moody let her go.

'You won't,' James said stubbornly. 'I won't let them touch you.'

'You're not always going to be there,' Lily reminded him.

'I'll look out for you, Lils,' he promised. 'I'll make Padfoot and Moony and Wormtail guard you when I can't be there.'

Lily managed half a smile. 'James-'

'I won't let them get you,' James said firmly. 'I'll hex their... erm... equipment off if they even think of touching you.'

'But what if you're not there! I don't want to lose my virginity to some creep in black robes and a mask!' The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she'd even said. She blushed but continued anyway. 'I don't want sex to be ruined, when it comes time for me to marry and have a baby!'

James pulled her into a hug, and rubbed her back. She wasn't crying, but she thought she might. Poor James looked like he had no idea what to say. 'It'll be all right,' he promised after a while. Oddly, his choice of words calmed her slightly.

Lily took a deep breath. 'You're right,' she told herself. 'You're right. That's part of being in the Order. We make sacrifices.'

They sat in silence both lost in their own thoughts. After quite some time, Lily turned to James. 'I need you to help me.'

'What with?' James asked, curiously.

'I want you to be my first,' Lily mumbled.

'First? First- Oh!' James' eyes were so large Lily thought they might fall out. He shook his head and edged away from her. 'Lils, I'd er... yeah, but -'

'James, please,' she whispered. 'Do this for me?'

'Lily, we've both had a lot to drink tonight-'

'Not that much,' she said impatiently. 'Please. You just admitted to loving me and according to my Patronus I love you too.'

'I will happily be your first,' James said, more coherent now he was over the shock, 'but are you sure this isn't the alcohol talking?'

'Quite,' Lily said, pouting slightly. 'Please?'

'I already agreed-' James' voice died as he watched her face. 'You mean tonight!' he yelped.

Lily blushed and nodded. 'Before I change my mind about this.'

'Lily,' he said sounding agonized. The expression on his face was pained, and she knew he was undergoing an intense mental debate. She felt guilty for putting him through this so suddenly. 'If you're worried about changing your mind over this then maybe-'

'James, please?'

'I don't want to take advantage of you,' he whispered.

'I'm willing,' Lily said honestly. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

James' eyes snapped shut behind his glasses. He was silent for what seemed like forever and then his eyes opened again. 'All right,' he said in a muted voice.

Lily took a deep breath, summoning her Gryffindor courage. 'Where are we going to do this?'

'Lils-' His voice trailed off when Lily crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at him. He sighed deeply, his eyes trailing over her face. 'You're going to enjoy this,' he said finally. 'I'll make it special.'

Lily's heart thumped loudly and she managed a nod. 'Thank you.'

He picked his wand up off his bedside table and pointed it at himself, muttering something Lily didn't hear. He then turned it on her and repeated the spell. 'Contraception charm,' he mumbled in reply to her questioning look. He also closed and locked the door with a wave of his wand and muttered a few more spells that Lily recognised as wards.

She watched him nervously, not sure how to start. She knew he knew how, but he seemed just as nervous. Finally, he grinned, his usual air of mischief returning. 'We'll go slowly,' he promised. He leaned in, cupped her cheek gently, and kissed her.

It started off chaste and soft, but then his lips began to move against hers. Her hands moved from their place in her lap to the back of his head, where she buried them in his messy hair. His other hand held the small of her back. She had kissed boys before, but _never_ like this. Her skin was on fire at their every point of contact and her breath was coming in ragged gasps. She pulled his glasses off and tossed them in the direction she thought the bedside table was.

Her world tilted as he lay her down on the mattress. He was on top of her, his warm chest pressing pleasantly against hers, one arm on her cheek, one by the side of her head supporting his weight. His lips were hot and fierce against hers, moving with a foreign vigour that somehow seemed so natural. James shuddered as her lips found their way onto his toned chest.

His hand disappeared from her cheek and moved to her thigh. He pulled her closer to him, running his fingers over her leg through her jeans. Hesitantly, she traced his upper lip with her tongue, seeking entrance. He gasped and she could taste his hot breath in her mouth as their tongues mingled.

After what could have been an eternity, or only a few minutes, James pulled back, resting on his forearms. His eyes were dark with arousal and his face was flushed as he stared down at her. It seemed to be taking all of his self control. 'Are you _sure?'_ he panted. Lily's only response was to reach up and wrap her hands around his neck, pulling him back down on top of her. She heard his sharp intake of breath. 'Lily, please, if you're not sure then let me know, while I can still stop.' The words were nothing more than a husky whisper against her mouth.

'I'm sure,' she murmured. James' lips captured her attention again. One of his hands was holding the side of her neck, and he was trailing soft kisses down the side of her face, neck and collarbone. Lily moaned as he sucked on the skin at the base of her jaw, and James laughed throatily, nibbling her ear. His hands moved to her blouse and deftly unbuttoned it before he peeled it off of her and dropped it over the side of the bed.

He ran his hands up her bare sides and then her back. Lily felt a little self-conscious at first, but James didn't seem to notice; with a casual flick of his fingers, he unclipped her bra, and it joined her blouse on the floor. He left a line of kisses up her naked torso before returning to her lips. His hands explored her chest, leaving her skin ablaze and gradually moved down to hook and unbutton the waistband of her jeans. She smiled against his mouth and wriggled out of them. She hesitated for a moment before sliding off her knickers too.

James pulled away, staring at her with half lidded eyes. 'You're so beautiful,' he murmured. She could feel his hands exploring, tracing every curve of her bare skin. She writhed with pleasure beneath his touch and a little part at the back of her mind was shocked that such intense feelings could come from such feather light contact.

Suddenly feeling bold, she dropped her hands down between them to free James; the fabric of his pyjamas was looking strained, and once they were off, his boxers were faring little better. She removed those too.

'Thank you,' he breathed into her ear. She nodded, breathless, and reached down to touch his hard length. He sucked in a breath and a quiet moan escaped him. The noise sent a wave of heat through her and she shivered, arching her back. He grinned, trailing his fingers up her bare thigh to play with her fiery curls. One long, warm finger probed inside of her. Lily squirmed. Two fingers.

'J-James!' she whimpered. His worried eyes flicked to meet hers. She leaned closer to kiss him with a passion that he happily returned. His fingers began to move gently. She moaned, closing her eyes and arched in to his touch. A moment later, his fingers were gone. Panting, Lily tried to hide her disappointment, but she ended up pouting. James chuckled and ducked his head, placing kisses in a line from her collarbone to her inner thigh. She moaned again, louder this time, when his tongue entered her. It was an intoxicating combination of kisses, licks and prods.

'J-James-s, please,' Lily moaned, squirming beneath his touch. 'Please.'

He glanced up at her, a smile spreading across his face and slowly shifted forward so that he was poised above her. 'Are you sure?' he murmured into her neck. He sounded a little anxious. 'It's going to hurt.'

'Take me,' Lily breathed. She sucked in a breath when she felt him enter her and winced when she felt him touching her barrier. She bit her lip, nodding. He shifted, pushing gently, and she felt a strange popping sensation, followed by a wave of pain.

'Lily?' She nodded. He brushed a strand of red hair away from her face, and gently wiped the tears off her cheeks.

'I'm all right,' she said after a moment. James' expression told her he was unconvinced. 'Really,' Lily murmured, hooking her legs around his waist. She moaned as she felt him sink deeper and then his lips were on hers again, distracting her with a passion she happily returned.

She moaned as soon as James started to move. His hands held her hips, puller her as close as was physically possible. Lily gasped as a wave of pleasure went through her, strong and hot. What James was doing was intoxicating, but it wasn't enough. She surrendered to instinct and began to grind back against him. He moaned, his lips seeking her neck as their thrusting continued.

'J-James! James, I- _Oh_! James!' Lily was vaguely aware she had lost control of what she was saying, and even more shockingly, didn't mind one bit. 'J_-James_!' The words were a scream. Her head spun and stars danced in front of her eyes as a shudder racked her sweaty frame. He neck arched and she could feel her inner muscles clenching in release.

'_Fuck, _Lily!' James groaned. Even in her exhaustion, Lily managed a smile; James _never_ swore. 'Oh, _fuck! _Lils-' With one last drive toward her core, he trembled above her and his arms gave way. His sweaty chest pressed closer to hers, his weight almost uncomfortable. He rolled off her, but not before he caught her mouth for a hot kiss. He lay next to her, panting, brushing his damp hair out of his face to better see her.

Lily knew she must be a sight to behold. She could feel how tangled her hair was and the slight flush on her cheeks. Her tongue darted out to trace her lips, and she realised they were swollen. It didn't stop her from smiling at him. 'Thank you,' she breathed, and meant it. She didn't have words to describe the way she was feeling.

James nodded, his eyes passing over her bare figure, staring at her with the same intensity and longing a thirsty man reserved for water. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was committing her to memory. Oddly, she didn't mind. Her eyes trailed over his lithe body appreciatively and she couldn't help herself from reaching out to stroke his taut chest again. James grinned, his own lips looking swollen. He had a multitude of red love bites on his neck and chest that she didn't even remember putting there. She guessed she had just as many, possibly more, and a slight blush crept up her cheeks.

Her eyes raked over him again. 'Like what you see?' he teased. Lily shrugged, nodding. She didn't have much experience in the department of male physique, but she didn't need it to know James was good looking.

'Me too,' he said, grinning, his devilish stare meeting her eyes. He ran a hand from her cheek to her knee and she shivered, leaning into the touch. James opened his arms for her and she wriggled into them, revelling in the feel of his warm skin against hers.

'Will you stay with me tonight?' she whispered, burying her head between his shoulder and cheek. She felt him nod and plant a gentle kiss on her temple. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' She could hear the smile in his voice.

'James?'

'Mmm?'

'Do you really think we'll make it through the war?' she asked. Her eyes fluttered shut.

'I don't know,' he shifted slightly, tightening his arms around her protectively. 'I hope we do.'

'But what if we don't?'

She felt him shrug. 'Then there's not a lot we can do about it. We'll live like we're going to die tomorrow so we've got no regrets when we go, be that next Saturday or in a century's time.'

'I like the sound of this "we" thing,' Lily admitted, 'even if the rest of this conversation is fairly dreary.'

James brushed his hand over her cheek. Lily snuggled closer before catching his mouth for a kiss. 'I love you,' she sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'I love you too.'


End file.
